I have been so encouraged by the response I’ve received from my Family Secret post. It is much easier for me to write than it is to speak about these things, but I appreciate all forms of contact. I am excited to see God work through me as He gives me strength to discuss and share my story in person. I enjoy hearing other points of view and perspectives on thoughts/concepts that I share, and I have been joyfully surprised by your encouragement. After the post, I realized that I haven’t shared an update on our situation in a while, so I thought I’d catch everyone up.
In my last planning blog, I had mentioned that D had just found a great job and that we were planning to start a savings account for growing our family, one way or another. As perhaps some of you know, family planning and endometriosis don’t pair well. In fact, with any type of infertility, family planning is a very volatile process and is severely affected by income. What I hadn’t mentioned in my recent posts was that while D had been promoted in August to a Team Lead position, that joy was soon stolen away as he and his entire team was laid off the following month. This is where the family planning gets paused once again.
Not long after we, once again, were reduced to one income, we made a decision. I turned 30 in October, and even before the candles blew out, my body decided to act “over 30”. Experiencing irregular cycles at the same time you are praying for a child… let’s just say there were many emotional days to end out the year 2012. Being the controlling person that I am, I decided I should take things into my own hands (as much as I could). After a short discussion, D and I decided that going back on birth control could help alleviate some of my stress as well as slow the damage the endometriosis is doing inside me. My symptoms had been getting worse, and it seemed as though allowing this auto-immune disease to continue to wreak havoc on my body, all the while reminding me of my infertility, was detrimental physically and emotionally. I needed a break.
And that’s where we stand. Paused. Attempting to save whatever is left of my uterus, perhaps for future use in a future world when life will be un-paused, and planning can commence once again.
We don’t know what the future holds [no one does], but doing what seems best for my body and for my mind is our best choice at this time.
Praying that we make right choices daily. Searching for His will. Ready when He hits PLAY.
LackOfNothing 