I had my free consultation with the acupuncturist. She was very nice, and was very encouraging. She also told me of the wonderful success women were having with acupuncture and fertility. I was scheduled for acupuncture 2 times a week. The acupuncturist put me on an “alkaline” diet… yeah… this whole process only lasted 1 month. Each acupuncture session was $80, and the diet was just plain ridiculous. I am the WORST person to ever be on a diet; I was miserable and border-line depressed. Every meal reminded me of my infertility. I asked D if he would be upset with me if I stopped following the diet. He said, “Our getting pregnant has nothing to do with what you eat; it’s totally and completely up to God.” I sat there thinking, Why don’t we have these conversations before we try something new? Wouldn’t that save a lot of time, money, and effort? I realized later that this is a journey for both of us. We try new things together with hope.
After what had seemed like an ETERNITY of infertility treatments, we decided to go on a break; a break from talking about babies, or planning for babies. June 10, 2009 I sent out an email entitled “What the future holds…” My closing remarks:
“It’s hard for people to know how to treat us, or how to speak to us. The difficulty is that everyone’s situation is different, even if they went through the same things we did. All I can say is, please be patient with us. There are things we need to work through as a couple. There are things I need to work through in my own heart. There is rarely a day that I don’t sit at my desk in tears over our own situation or someone else’s. No one has the answers… No one knows what will happen for us. No one knows what His plan is for us. No one knows what is ahead. This is the reality that we are faced with, and it’s unsettling; but we know that His way is perfect. That doesn’t mean that it’s going to be easy.”
June of 2009 started our sabbatical from all things related to babies.
LackOfNothing 