LackOfNothing

For a short period, my mind was distracted by the fact that one of my incisions from my surgery (over 4 months prior) had not healed, and had gotten infected. I had to start packing the incision with gauze; the incision was quite deep. I thought it was pretty cool, but D could not even be present while I cleaned it. I had a CT Scan done to ensure that there wasn’t a problem with the incision placement or any damage the endometriosis had done on my abdominal wall. $1,500 later, the test showed there was nothing wrong.

This is the part of the story when you can just hear the $ flying out of our pockets. The ultrasounds had been $160 a piece, inseminations were $300, and all of my tests were $1,500 each! At the beginning of April, I went to the center and asked if they could put me on Clomid, but NOT do the ultrasounds twice a month. I told them that I could not pay for them anymore, and we wanted to just try on our own with Clomid. The doctor looked at me, and as though God was performing a miracle, she said “I know money is tight for you guys, so how would you like to have your ultrasounds and insemination for free?”

…I just looked at her… “and how would we do that?” I asked.

She said that if she has a resident do the ultrasounds and the insemination, they can’t charge me for it because it’s training. They would be free. I told her that sounded awesome! She explained that the only part we’d have to pay for is D’s part of the insemination (which is $175). I told her that we can handle that. $175 is WAY better than $620! What an answer to prayer! The doctor told me that she had never done that for anyone in the past, but she REALLY wanted me to be successful since my chances were so good (again, the “young” thing). I was in tears. This must be what God wants for us. He is opening a door. How amazing!

I had an ultrasound to confirm that my cysts were healed, and was cleared to started Clomid again, this time cutting the pills in HALF (over a 3 day period, I technically only took 1.5 pills). I was so excited, thinking that THIS was going to be the month.

I went for an ultrasound to count the number of eggs I had developed… I still generated 5 eggs.

How in the world does that happen?!!

I was so upset. The ultrasound tech was in disbelief. We technically only had 1 month left before my window potentially would close. The tech went and got the doctor. She came in and explained that we had 2 options: skip this month (NOT an option for me), or have a procedure performed to aspirate the excess eggs while they’re still inside the ovary. She tried to explain the procedure… it sounded awkward, but I wasn’t afraid. She said that the resident could perform the procedure, so it would not cost me any money. She explained that the procedure is quite painful (as you can probably imagine), but they could perform it that very next morning. I agreed without any hesitance. I’ve never been afraid of pain, and boasted a high pain tolerance.

I showed up the next morning, ready for my procedure. While waiting for the resident, doctor and technician, I was left alone in the room… Well, not completely alone– sitting on the table next to me was the needle they were going to use for the procedure. That was the most frightening needle I had ever seen. I quickly grabbed my phone to take a picture; I knew no one would believe me. The resident, doctor and technician came in. (I will omit some of the story for the faint-hearted) The doctor told me that I had the highest pain tolerance she had ever seen. She said, “You were born to have babies. You won’t need any drugs when YOU’re in labor.” This statement was so reassuring to me! Yes, you’re right! I would be good at having babies.

It was working quite well having the resident perform my procedures and ultrasounds. I scheduled the insemination to coordinate with the resident’s schedule. I showed up for the insemination a few days later, but… no resident. I thought to myself, There’s no way they’ll make me pay for the insemination if I had the expectation of NOT paying, right?!?! After the insemination, I left the office. Not long after I left, I received a phone call from the receptionist asking why I didn’t stop by her station to pay. I explained to her the situation, and told her that if the resident just CHOSE to not show up, that was not MY problem. I should not have to pay for the procedure if I had scheduled it with the resident. She was quite mad, but I was more mad. She told me she’d have to ask the doctor. Later, I received a voicemail saying that the doctor had agreed to waive the fee.

The insemination was not successful.

That was it. Having a baby should not be this much work. Having a baby should not be this stressful. Having a baby should not have to be so expensive. We decided that we were done with inseminations. I did not want to force the center to waive my fees simply because the resident’s schedule conflict. I could not do that to them, especially not after all the the doctor had done for me. I went back for a meeting with the doctor to discuss other options. The notorious “window” was closed. I asked if, down the road (when we had more money), we could do the surgery again. She said that she had seen more success with acupuncture than with a 2nd laperoscopy.

I wasn’t really sure how an acupuncturist could help me, but I was willing to try it at that time. After a bit of research, we decided to try out acupuncture while trying to conceive on our own.